Shopping 101

Evidently I don’t know how to shop. This is the conversation I had with my husband when he threw down the gauntlet.

“Oooh, I like these lamps”, I said while browsing the new Crate and Barrel that had just arrived.

“We could get two of these, a couple of mirrors, take down those ugly lamps by the bed and get a couple of tables. That would look really good.” I said this very dreamily.

“Yeah, $1500 later."  He takes a sip of his coffee, "you know what style is? Seeing this and then finding something very similar that looks just as good for $25. That’s style. You need to figure out where to shop.” He said all of this in a slightly mean but distracted tone.

“Hmmpfh. I don’t like to shop.” (I know I must be the one female on the planet who doesn’t like to shop.)

“I know, that is why we don’t have those lamps, the mirrors, the tables……” He walked away.

Well now, he has thrown down the gauntlet. I made an emergency trip to Garden Ridge to see if they had anything like this, they didn’t. I called my shopper friend, who unlike me is the best shopper in the world. She can furnish a house, treat the windows, change out all the hardware and have the A/C fixed in a two week time frame after she has just moved in pregnant with a toddler. I kid you not, she has done this.

She told me about Home Goods. She said it was owned by TJ Maxx. Well, right there I know it will be good. But will I be good enough? I have shopped at TJ Maxx in the last year. I survived. I didn’t pass out from all of the options. There are literally 1000 shirts all a size 8, but all completely different. My worst nightmare. I have been in Marshall’s once, but never Home Goods or Tuesday Morning or any other store that has somehow scooped up a huge truckload of one off products from 100 different stores and stuck them on shelves in a their store and marked them all at 25%.

I am going to have to put on my big girl pants, or take a tranquilizer, whichever gets the job done and check out Home Goods.

I am going to do that right after I have a little sip of this cocktail milkshake.