Sleep Schedule at Week 7

Stella is seven weeks old today and I wanted to document her sleep schedule.  She generally goes "to sleep" meaning you can set her down and leave her in her crib without her waking up in five minutes at around 11pm.  Last night it was more like 10:30 which I thought was great.  She then will sleep about four hours waking somewhere between 2:30 and 4am.  I nurse her for as much as she will take, normally this is around 30 minutes, last night it was an hour but sometimes it is only 15 minutes.  This is normally 5 to 6 hours since her last feeding.  Last night I had fed her at 9pm and she woke at 2:30, right at 5.5 hours between feedings and I got 3.5 hours of sleep and she got right at 4 hours of sleep. 

She ate for an hour last night so that means she was back in her crib around 3:30 and then she will sleep until 5 or 6am.  Last night she slept until 6ish, I didn't look too closely at the clock and I brought her to bed with me to nurse until around 7am.  I wasn't quite ready to face the world yet so needed a little dosing time. 

So in all she slept 6.5 hours at "night" and I got roughly that also.  A very good night. 

She is starting to take an evening nap that will eventually be her bedtime and blend into this 11pm bedtime.  I can't wait for that.  Jeff and I really need a "no kid" zone during the evening hours otherwise we don't even have time to ask "how was your day"? 

The daytime naps continue to be our struggle.  She will nap on top of you for one or two hours during the day but she never really settles more than once a day.  She will doze a lot and I guess that counts as sleep for her but I think she is very sleep deprived.  Even when it is completely quiet and it is just us in the house she has a hard time settling.  I am hoping this improves over time! 

Here is a picture of Stella and I yesterday after her bath, her hair sticks straight up after I wash it.

Reunited And it Feels So Good

Note to self:  do not allow Mia to take her blanket to school. 

Sounds simple, straight forward and logical.  Don't underestimate the power of a four year old's tears on a pregnant woman's psyche.  She asked to take it, I obviously didn't say no, the rest is a sleepless night.

Right around bedtime we realized that Blankie was not in the building.  There were tears, lots of tears.  She actually went to sleep fairly easily.  But I was under no illusion that she would stay asleep.  We made it until 1:30 when she woke up basically screaming.  We all ended up in one bed, except the defector, Daddy.  I am sure that he didn't get a fantastic night's sleep, but I am also sure that his rated much higher than mine. 

I called early this morning to make sure that said Blankie had truly spent the night in Mia's cubby at school.  If not, I had a much bigger issue on my hands.  One requiring a plan, maybe even a night nanny or boarding school.  But Blankie, although lonely was still at school waiting for Mia.

What If I Paid You To Sleep?

Sleep.  The Holy Grail, the one topic that EVERY parent has a story regarding, dilemma about or advice to give.  I really didn't get this prior to children.  I didn't understand the huge industry around sleep, different luxury beds, bedding, breathing devices, sound machines, eye covers, and the list goes on and on.  For me, sleep has always been super simple.  You find a quiet dark place, you lay down and bam you are asleep.  Stress was really the only thing that could ever interrupt my sleep.   Maybe a big thunderstorm or an even bigger scorpion in bed with me, but other than that I was confused by all the difficulty. 

And then I became a mom. 

When they are tiny you grow your mommy ears and can all of a sudden hear a pin drop in their room.  Coughing, labored breathing, tossing and turning; I can hear it all.  When they get a bit older you trust more that a cough and cold or a fever won't do any permanent damage so you sleep a little easier.  On the flip side, while you are learning new strategies to keep yourself asleep, you must also learn how to keep these new people asleep, also. 

I have reached the, what if I paid you to sleep strategy.  Which really isn't a viable option until they understand the value of a quarter.  Every night that they stay in bed all night, they receive a quarter.  Needless to say, in the middle of the night when a certain five year old boy wants his mommy a quarter isn't going to purchase his staying in bed.  There really isn't a price you can put on needing your mommy.  But we will continue this strategy for awhile.  The one thing I think it does do is reinforce the behavior you want.  The problem is that if the behavior you want never presents itself it is sure hard to reinforce. 

In the words of my mother-in-law, he won't go to kindergarten in diapers.  He also won't go to college waking up in the middle of the night and climbing into bed with me.  For that matter, I highly doubt he will go to high school or even middle school doing this.  However, will we make it to first grade, second grade, third grade or even fourth grade without nighttime interruptions?  I know that this too shall pass, but if anyone could give me a timeline on when it will pass; I would really appreciate it. 

I was called patient recently and almost laughed out loud at the complement.  But maybe it is true, maybe my family, Jac included; are teaching me patience.  Do you think if I can demonstrate patience the lesson could be over and we all could get some more sleep?

Mommy Guilt

I have often said, "there is no guilt, like a mother's guilt."  I say this and sometimes I get strange looks.  First, I should preface the conversation with the fact that in general, I have a guilty conscience.  I was the kid who totally ratted herself out when she stole from the cookie jar. 

I would literally get sick to my stomach if I thought I had done something wrong, upset my mother or somehow caused a problem.  I was very shy and always VERY guilty.  Although I never did anything wrong!  My moral compass was set to a very low tolerance of wrong and a profound need to be righteous all the time. 

Fastfoward to mommyhood, oy vey this is a difficult thing.  Parenting is by far the hardest job in the world.  So many little tiny decisions every day that make up the character of a little tiny person who may rule the world one day, how much pressure is that?  So when I have the chance to stew in a little guilt, I take it.  It may seem crazy to you, but it is cathartic to me.  Let's just say it reminds me of my childhood.

Jac has been gone for three nights.  And the kicker is, I have slept great!  I mentioned that nightmare that I had about him a few days ago.  Well, I haven't even had a dream since.  Mia has been sleeping in until 8:30, I have been getting up around 7:30 and moseying downstairs.  Breakfast has been peaceful, wow, here comes the guilt.  I didn't think I would sleep at all and here I am sleeping like a ... well we all know that babies don't sleep, why isn't the saying "sleeping like a teenager", now they can sleep!

Jac and Mia are like twins.  They are somewhat yin and yang, they are peanut butter and jelly, ice cream and apple pie, popcorn and a movie, they just fit.  Mia is a little lost without him, but I must say it has been a very peaceful few days.  We all have been resting and relaxing, in fact I am worried that we probably will have put on some weight since the little guy has been gone.  He is the motivator, the mover and the shaker, the "what can we do now" kid. 

Mia keeps trying to tell me that he will be a back in two days.  I keep telling her that no, it will be longer than that.  Right now, we are doing good.  We miss him, but oh the sleep is fantastic.  I can't wait to see his cute little face with those lovely blue eyes though. 

And anybody who says you don't sleep well with a guilty conscience, well they were just plain wrong!

These are the culprits

These cookies look like innocent turkeys, but beware, they are actually enough to make your four year old have an all out meltdown!

The kids and I made cookies on Monday with our neighbor friend. Fun was had, spoons were licked, feathers were applied and cookies were eaten. Then it got ugly. (Queue scary music.)

Jac's behavior has definitely gotten a bit less four year old like and more two year old like since giving up the nap and starting preschool this fall. Things are good when he is well rested and fed, and evidently not when there are a couple dozen turkeys looking at him. All was well until we sat down to dinner. First, Mia was not interested, everyone in the family loves meatloaf, but not tonight. Then Jac jumped on the bandwagon and decided that he wasn't eating either. All out mutiny. Which was simple enough to solve. If you aren't hungry fine, please leave the table so that mommy and daddy can eat in peace. But be forewarned! No dessert if you don't eat your meal.

Well things went from bad to worse with Jac, and he was sent to his room. Mia decided to buck up and try the potatoes that I had fixed. (Contrary to the critics at the table, it was a tasty meal. Sweet meatloaf, a potato and cheese concoction, and sauteed beets. You may have issue you with the latter, but I promise it is good and in our house, you don't have to eat everything you just have to try it all. The only reason you would have to eat everything is if you wanted one of those turkey cookies. Queue the scary music again.)

So Mia was back at the table eating and Jac was in his room. It sounded from the wailing that someone was doing him bodily harm. Jeff and I were finished with our meal at this point and were cleaning up the kitchen. After the kitchen was clean I went upstairs with Jac. Being the reasonable mother I am, and knowing that what my son truly needed was sleep I gave him two choices 1. go eat your dinner and no I am not making you anything different or 2. go to bed. (It seemed like an easy choice, I wasn't being mean on either level because for choice 1. Jac has been known to eat two or three helpings of my meatloaf and for choice 2. he normally goes to bed at 7:30 and it was already 6:45.)

My son doesn't always make the wisest choices. He opted for a middle road of being defiant and shouting, I am not eating it if it is my dinner. In four year old speak what he really meant was, mommy this fit will stop if you will just give me a turkey cookie - did I mention that he has been screaming for turkey cookies this whole time? I of course knew what I had to do, put Jac to bed. I knew it wouldn't be fun or easy, but this is what I had to do.

So another 30 minutes later after Jac had finally been convinced that he wasn't leaving his room and I would stay with him until he fell asleep, he did just that, fell asleep. It was ugly and loud and certainly not how I would choose to put him to bed, I felt like the mom in the book Where the Wild Things Are. I did realize a few things from this incident. Jac needs more sleep, somehow we need to get him more sleep. The turkey cookies must be put away and potentially sweets in general must disappear for awhile.

Some questions that I had were, how do I get this boy to sleep more? Do we have too many things going on (preschool and play dates are really all we do, but is four days a week just too much)? And last but of course not least, how do I get rid of two dozen turkey cookies?